Karen Faye

Makeup | Hair | Artist

August 29th

Posted By on August 29, 2010 in a life intersected | 138 comments

From the beginning it was always a quandary for me, Michael’s birthday.  From the first day we met, unfamiliar to me, I was faced with his Online blackjack game chosen religion, Jehovah’s Witness.

When Michael arrived for his photo shoot for THRILLER, two men accompanied him impeccably dressed in suits, who sat him over to the side on some cushy couches and watched his every move.

Since this was the first time I worked with him, it didn’t feel appropriate for me to ask who they could possibly be. I thought if he wanted us to sure i’m something know, he would have told us. I just felt their presence throughout the entire day.  They left with him as mysteriously as they had entered with him.  At the time I really did not give it another thought, because I had no idea of the adventure that was ahead of me.

The next shoot, there excuse english writing again…a mysterious gentleman, sitting in the background.

As our working relationship and friendship began to grow, I asked. He explained to me he was a Jehovah’s Witness.  He was very active with the church, and these gentlemen were monitors.  They watched over like him.  He also explained he went to bible study, and spent time going door-to-door teaching the word each week.  I had to take pause for a minute and think about that one….

THRILLER had been released by the time he single was explaining this to me.  “You mean to tell me, that you ring someone’s doorbell, they come to answer it, and there stands Michael Jackson??????”

He gave me one of adores celebration his hi pitched belly laughs…and said, “yeah”. He further explained that he does it in disguise.

“Oh no you don’t.”

Still giggling, he paused and got Casinos in california amusingly serious. “Yeah, sure. After they let me in, they usually begin to look at me funny, so I end up admitting who I am.”

“Wow, I wish I could be little sweet it’s a fly on the wall and watch that.  I still can’t believe you do that.” I said.

“It is a big part of being a Jehovah’s Witness. We also do not celebrate holidays or very birthdays.  We believe that we should honor and celebrate these things daily, and not have just one day.”

So I asked “No birthdays. No Christmas?”

“No” he replied.

“Isn’t that difficult, when the world around you is decorating and singing carols?”.

“Yes, Turkle…it is always kind of sad, especially when I was a child, because it looked like so much fun.  But it is okay; we have things like FAMILY DAY, where we all get together.  There are hundreds of Jackson’s and we all try and be there.”

I could genuinely see the sadness in his eyes and the sense his feeling of loss, not celebrating Christmas with the other kids…so I changed the subject.

One August 29th, we ended up working.  Everyone was wishing him Happy Birthday and giving him little presents. He smiled and graciously accepted them.  Once we were in the privacy of the trailer, he put the gifts down on the seat, and looked down at them.

“I wish people wouldn’t do that.  Please promise me, Turkle, don’t EVER say Happy Birthday to me.”

I was torn.  I once again saw how sad and conflicted he was on the inside about this, but he remained loyal to his beliefs.  It was so difficult for me too.  I wanted to give him a present and a big birthday hug every time August 29th rolled around, and join in with the others who were celebrating his birthday around him.  I also wanted to comply with his request not to even SAY happy birthday.

We were shooting SMOOTH CRIMINAL.  I was accustomed to the monitors by now.  The filming was going on longer than planned, as usual. We were preparing for a very big scene.  Michael was surrounded by the alien battalion in a gully, built on stage 14.

The special weapons and ammunition team had briefed Michael on how to hold the machine gun and fire it.  It was the last scene of the evening.  Michael was having fun with it, like a little boy playing army.  He took a strong stance, and fired as the cameras rolled.

That was a wrap for that evening, and we were given our call time for the next morning.

Michael was a little late arriving the next day. I was waiting in his trailer.  He walked in so distraught. I didn’t understand, we were having so much fun the night before.  He was silent as he sat in the makeup chair.  I had to ask him please tell me. Please tell me what is wrong.

His eyes welled up with tears.  “Mother called last night.  The church called her, and told her that I held and fired a gun yesterday.  They ordered that I have to make decision.  I must leave the church, or leave the entertainment industry.”  He was weeping as he uttered those words.

I was quite mortified.  “What did your mother advise you to do?”

“She felt horrible.  She told me it was up to me. She said she would stand by me with whatever I decided.”

“I see, you are here today”.

“Yes”

“Mother is supporting my choice”.

It took a while for Michael to adjust to his choice.  He continued to feel uncomfortable with his birthday, but attended fan events in his honor, and truly enjoyed them.

When I was around him during Christmas, he would hide in his own closet to secretly wrap presents.  He still held a tinge of guilt.  I knew it was difficult for him, but I know he loved all the decorations that NEVER came down.  He could freely give his children the birthdays that he never had.  I knew deep down inside the Jehovah Witness teachings continued to hold a sacred place inside of him.  That is why I was forever torn by not saying “Happy Birthday”. He never released me from my promise to not say it to him.

138 Comments

  1. springgirl0305 August 29, 2010

    What a shame to carry the guilt he did when he was such a joyous person. No you’ve never broken your promise so cant now. But the phrase Happy Birthday doesnt appy now anyway. It is just thank you God that Michael was born on this day.

    • minicoop55 October 30, 2010

      Karen I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your memories of Michael with us. I can honestly say I have been deeply affected by his passing – and I have to be honest – I was not a die hard fan. I listened to his music occasionally. Now a day doesn’t go by where I haven’t listened to his music or watched his videos. I get goosebumps when I watch “Will You Be There”- I feel his spirit in his music. I feel I have come to understand this man through reading about him and do now feel I must carry his message forward. I am so glad he had such a wonderful friend to share his thoughts with and to be by his side always. This is a journey we can all share together; you are an angel as was Michael. God Bless You!

  2. lauratrezzi August 29, 2010

    Thank you Karen. You shared with us a very intimate side of Michael. He was a very religious person, so your story have a great emotional meaning. For you, too…as you were close to him in those moments, when he had to take some very important decisions. I remember his speech during the 1993 Grammys….he talked about that a little bit…but I do hope that he got one message from us: our way of wishing him Happy Birthday was a way to show him love, no matter what, despite any barrier. Had he tell us not to wish him Happy Birthday….I am sure lot of us would have done that, would have followed his request. Hugs.

  3. sandyk01 August 29, 2010

    Thank you, Karen.

    A precious and priceless memory on this special day.

    “He never released me from my promise to not say it to him.” -Karen Faye

    Karen, you must still feel bound by this promise since I don’t see a happy birthday wish, just the date. I will always remember this and understand. You truly were a friend to him. Thank you for sharing this.

    LYM,
    Sandy

    • wishingpeace September 5, 2010

      Hi Sandy,

      I can’t seem to directly reply to your other comment, but I wanted to thank you. Michael was such a warm and beautiful soul, and I just wanted to share that. I know we all miss him so much. It is nice to see how many lives he has touched, and to see such an outpouring of love. Michael has undoubtedly made a tremendous difference in this world and he will always hold a special place in my heart, as well as millions of others.

  4. donnaBee73 August 29, 2010

    Karen, Tears, tears tears. I don’t know how you did that for so many years. But, a promise is a promise right?! I cant imagine how he must have felt in Copenhagen when they brought out that huge cake and sang Happy Birthday to him. Please tell me that acts of love like that didn’t make him sad or conflicted!

    I hope whatever your doing today to celebrate your friends extraordinary life, that you continue to keep your promise. Can i ask though…..Is there a loophole? can you say it in your heart, but not utter the words? Or is that some serious cheating?

    • Karen Faye August 29, 2010

      I know he loved birthdays and holidays. He loved all the gestures. I think he would be extremely disappointed if people didn’t celebrate. He made sure his children were not deprived of the joy.

      • norah69 September 8, 2010

        Thank u Karen for sharing all u do on this blog. As you say ,it is important to celebrate. And I do as much as I can ..the teachings of religion can change and dictate a lot of what we do in this world..but still even though there was conflict in celebrating birthdays etc. Michael represented what love is in many, many ways .

        I did not know him personally, which is why I treasure this blog so much.

        Michael made everyday like a birthday whenever I heard his voice or saw his picture….and so, I celebrate. It is bittersweet but ….

        Michael was a world ambassador of love .. love in the truest, purest sense of the word. He also brings out the ‘world ambassador of love ‘ on so so many of us.

        I treasure him for all he represented for me in this world.. and I always will.

      • mariheart4michael July 21, 2011

        HI Karen, I enjoyed reading every line of your blog about Michael. You are indeed very lucky for being one of his closest friends, and working with him for the last 30 years! WOW! How I wished I’m i nyour shoes! My admiration and respect with this Man is just beyond, what a wonderful Soul a true Angel! I pictured the scenarios during those days you spent with him on his birthdays…really touching beautiful fond memories you hacve had with him…I admire you as well Karen, for being true and Honest friend to Michael..Many unjust people used and broke his heart, truly unfair! Please keep writing more about HIM, I am all ears and excited to know….Keep it up! God Bless, and thank you for this Blog just AMAZING! L.O.V.E. MariHeart from Germany

  5. loraottawacanada August 29, 2010

    thanks for sharing Karen…he could never get over that….what brainwashing the JW does to children!…..very similar to the Catholic faith IMO…I am Roman Catholics and was preached and scared into believing! Not any more….but there is still a side of me that goes to prayer no matter what! It’s still indoctrinated into me! Enjoy your day Karen remembering all the wonderful memories of MJ that NO one in this world are privy to! :-) ((hugs))

  6. evalo73 August 29, 2010

    Karen thank you for sharing this story so moving, I appreciate all the August 29 birth of Michael, and Michael will forgive me if it bothers you.

  7. vai24fan August 29, 2010

    Hi Karen! I find it interesting that the monitors where still around during “Smooth Criminal.” I remember seeing the video of where Eliozabeth Taylor decorated his home for Christmas, and seeing the “Oh my God, I’m going to be in so much trouble” look on his face. I don’t think the public understands just how dedicated a Witness he was. I understand what he must have been feeling. Though it was obviously difficult for you, wanting to honor Michael’s wishes, it shows what a good friend you were. I’m sure he knows now, that it’s okay and he is enjoying the fact that we love him so much.

  8. neverland1958 August 29, 2010

    I would describe Michael as being dedicated to whatever he was passionate about and you are a very dedicated friend Karen. Much love to you and thank you for sharing with us. LYM

  9. sisiboo August 29, 2010

    what a touching story.. must have been hard on you all these years to hold it in. birthdays are the best, so sad that he was denied all the birthday fun.

    i wish i had known this earlier, i kind of feel bad wishing him happy birthday all over the place. i know now this makes him uncomfortable….sorry michael. i just wish u peace and love, on this day and all other days the same. xoxo

  10. rocymj August 29, 2010

    That must have been difficult for you not to give Karen a hug on the day of his birthday for many years right? … taking with you a special person as Michael “as not to embrace such a special day important? He was always loyal to his beliefs, but it caused him grief. Yet despite all this, Michael was commissioned to make the lives of their children the most beautiful experience while he was with them, also talked to us fans and will continue today and forever … It is impossible for me not to wish a happy birthday, because he deserves to be happy wherever he is, and his soul was always a child and a child without a child’s birthday is not completely happy .. that is why today I say with all the love I have for over 16 years .. HAPPY MICHAEL JACKSON CUMPLAÑOS thanks for inspiring me to keep going, and thank God for giving me the opportunity to love someone as wonderful as Michael .. Karen, thanks for what we share, I filled the soul.

  11. msirismg August 29, 2010

    This makes me so angry!

    It is not a right or a necessity to celebrate Christmas or even one’s birthday in this country, and Michael should NEVER have been made to feel “less than” because of his beliefs. We are supposed to have freedom of religion in this country. Didn’t anybody ever stop to think that maybe his people were doing things the RIGHT way, treating every day the same? Not commercializing the birth of Jesus, which is an arbitrarily chosen date anyway, and using it as an excuse for materialism & excess? But yet somehow HE was the one who was wrong for not partaking! Jews do not celebrate Christmas. Muslims do not celebrate Christmas, yet a Jehovah’s witness is weird for not doing so. Dear God.

    Well, I don’t celebrate it either. I never had a birthday party, never been trick-or-treating, and there was only money enough for birthday or Christmas but not both, because they fell in the same month. I am neither deprived nor depraved because of this, and neither was Michael. GOD! I wish I could have befriended him and told him he was not the weird one, he was the one who did it right, and that people should have been doing things HIS way, not the other way around!

    Today I’m trying to find joy in the day Michael was born, because I myself like the occasional acknowledgment that someone is glad I’m in the world, and I want to honor him today. I like to believe that if I were a friend of Michael’s, I would try to make him see his birthday just that way, even if he didn’t want gifts, which is his prerogative.

    I’m not blaming you for his troubles, Karen, and I’m not mad at you. I think your questions to him just reflected the mindset of a lot of people in the majority culture. Because of that culture he saw himself as a misfit, when the truth is he should have never been put into that position in the first place. I have to say I’m appalled and disgusted at the lengths people went through to make him feel like a freak because he didn’t “fit in”.

    • Karen Faye August 29, 2010

      I don’t think OTHERS condemned him for not celebrating. Perhaps they did not understand. I think it was probably difficult as a child to watch others participate and having fun, and he was not allowed to…which added to the fact of his profession that kept him working instead, of allowing him to do things kids do. But I agree that religion can put us in a box, and others don’t bother to look inside the box and learn about it’s contents.

      • sandyk01 August 29, 2010

        I just noticed your comment on religion and boxes and it made me smile. Although I am a Born-Again-Christian, I don’t tell people this, not out of shame, but to avoid being “type-cast.” There’s a tendancy for people to feel I hold true to a particular ideology…which I don’t. People don’t try to get to know me, they just see the box. So I leave the box at home!…although not my faith. :)

      • wishingpeace September 5, 2010

        When I think of Michael regarding love and religion, I imagine him as a beautiful, multi-colored quilt. (I also believe he has a couple of jackets that remind me of this…?) I’ve always saw him as very open to religions & cultures all over the world. Like a quilt, all the different parts of the world are united and embraced, AND used to provide comfort and warmth to others. To me, this is how I would describe Michael and how I feel about him. He gives me comfort, warmth and strength. He also embraces and blankets everyone with love and reaches out to all. I am now going to ask my mom if she can sew me a Michael quilt =) I cannot sew, but maybe she can…I imagine Mr. Bush & Mr. Tompkins could make a beautiful one too!

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts and memories, All my love, k

      • sandyk01 September 5, 2010

        That’s a beautiful image, wishingpeace! :)

    • Karen Faye August 29, 2010

      I enjoyed reading your point of view. It opened my eyes to a seeing it in a different light. Thank you.

  12. bogdana August 29, 2010

    Eh, bunch of pharisees… Reminds me of what Jesus told them, “You don’t let anyone in and you don’t go in either”. They make up religions to keep people away from God, instead of bringing them CLOSE to God. I admire his strength so much. Only faith can give a man/woman this kind of strength.

    Karen… would you have called a JW, like Michael, a “religious zealot” (back when he was not even celebrating his own B-days)? I mean, as far as his strong beliefs and his loyalty to JW?

    • Karen Faye August 29, 2010

      No, I wouldn’t call him a religious zealot. He never judged or hurt others who believed differently than he did. He always approached everything in his life and others with respect and elegance. His personal beliefs were no exception. He was awesome.

      • bogdana August 29, 2010

        Yet another lesson. Thanks.

    • majka1 August 29, 2010

      This is very difficult. Every religions have some of rules. When somebody is growing up in some of religion from the childhood, change it is very problematic.

  13. 777mjj August 29, 2010

    Turkle, thank you for sharing this story with us. I am so grateful that Michael chose to remain with the (albeit abusive) entertainment industry – the gifts he gave us – his fans – the world – via his work are priceless. In more ways than one, I hurt for what he’d gone through with all this.

    I have uttered the words to him like many others and hope he’ll forgive me for that! I remember reading about the JH belief system before regarding birthdays, holidays but somehow thought that Michael had learned to live with them after leaving the church and I guess he did, however deep in his heart, still felt guilty and conflicted about it. He had said that at his first Christmas with Liz he locked himself in the bathroom and cried out of feeling guilty.

    How difficult for you to have to deal with this every holiday and birthday too – not being able to fully celebrate with your friend.

    I am grateful to you, not only for sharing these memories with us but also for being such a loving and supportive and trusted friend to him during his life. He didn’t have enough true friends whom he could really trust.

    Because of Michael, I’ve learned about you and because of you, I’ve learned more about Michael. Both of you are very special people in my opinion and I’m also grateful for the opportunity to be able to know about you both more. Of course I don’t like the circumstance in which this has happened but I retain some hope for the world knowing that people like Michael and yourself were/are in it.

    Thank you Turkle. And Thank you Michael!

  14. sandyk01 August 29, 2010

    Hi sisiboo,

    I just read your comment and felt a lump in my throat since I have also been wishing him a happy birthday all over the place.

    Karen, it made me wonder, since he freely gave his children birthdays, did he allow his children to say happy birthday to him or give him a present?

    Blessings on this day and everyday. :)

    Sandy

    • sisiboo August 29, 2010

      ((((hugs)))) sandy. anyways, its not really a ‘happy’ birthday since the birthday boy isnt even here… ILY

      • sandyk01 August 29, 2010

        Yes, you’re right. :(

    • Karen Faye August 29, 2010

      Of course, he loved it. That is why he was conflicted inside about it. I don’t think judging the situation is important. Understanding it is :)

      • sisiboo August 29, 2010

        No judgement…. this is all bittersweet. too many emotions here. On this day ill celebrate u and him and myself and everyone on here. Happy birthday to all, today and everyday. xoxo

      • sandyk01 August 29, 2010

        That internal conflict must have been very difficult at times. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for him. I accept him for who he was, and that he tried to deal with this issue (and any issue for that matter) as best he could. It occurs to me that seeing his children run up to him to give him a birthday hug must have soften the edges of that internal conflict perhaps a little bit. That’s a very nice visual!! :)

        Thank you so much, Karen, for helping all of us with that understanding. We are all getting to know Michael, and understand him a little better through you. :)

      • Karen Faye August 29, 2010

        maybe I should use the words “analyze” instead of judge. What is confusing about understanding his conflict, is how we should react to it within ourselves. Which part do we GIVE to him? the celebration he adores and missed during his childhood years…or respect the restrictions put on them by the religion he was brought up in. The knowledge allows us to feel the conflict that was within him, doesn’t it?

      • sandyk01 August 29, 2010

        Yes, and that knowledge brings about understanding, empathy, acceptance and potentially the removal of judgement. There is no room for judgement when you have the other three on your side.

      • sandyk01 August 29, 2010

        …and I forgot to note your mention of “analyze.” For me, over analyzing can lead to false “judgements” or just plain confusion when understanding, empathy, acceptance are left out of the equation. :)

  15. wendy4darling August 29, 2010

    Dear Karen, thank you very much for sharing this precious memory, especially on his todays birthday. I feel so sorry, because I wished him always *Merry Xmas* and *Happy Birthday*, but I think, in the course of time he’d adjusted to celebrate holidays and birthdays, first of all for his kids. Anyhow, it’s sad and I cried by reading. Thanks again!!! The admiration grows more and more – in the same way for you. Gabi

  16. bcox210 August 29, 2010

    Hi Karen . . . When did they do the filming for Smooth Criminal. I know when it was released (October of 1988), but it was reported that Michael left Jehovah’s in the spring of 1987. Is that when they actually filmed that short?

    I find his judgment by his church very familiar. Going through the same thing because of Michael and my involvement with him. I have not had so bold an ultimatum, but we’ve been bumped from the trip to Israel . . . the trip of a lifetime that we will never probably have another opportunity, after word about my blog got out. I’ve been backing out of church activity little by little and using the excuse that we will be moving out of state shortly.

    It is some kind of painful to have a “family” that you once felt accepted and loved by, to do this to you because they don’t agree or understand your mission. What gives them the right to question the very job God gives you to do? This is what churches do . . . they step between man and God and try to act as a mediator, an agent . . . a RECORD LABEL.

    Michael never stopped reading the Bible. Neither will I. I don’t need a church to be close to God. I just wish they (the churches) would do what it says in the Bible that they are supposed to be doing, and JUDGMENT is not one of their jobs. That job belongs to God.

    Thank you for sharing what I know is a VERY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE that Michael went through, after all he has done for that church.

    • bogdana August 29, 2010

      I was about to say that… the reason why it is so painful for someone who is rejected, is not necessarily because he/she is no longer a JW, but because they were like a second family to him/her (and to all who are involved in such evangelical religions like JW). “This is what churches do . . . they step between man and God and try to act as a mediator” “I don’t need a church to be close to God.” Very true. I respect your point of view very much. It’s the sad truth. Unfortunately, there’s a whole system. Kicking someone “out” of their “church” is only the first step.

      • bcox210 August 29, 2010

        That is exactly what it is, bogdana. It’s not the church or the name or religion it is the relationship that you believed was based on one thing then come to find out it is based on more superficial elements.

        I have not been kicked out, don’t get me wrong, but really, really discouraged enough to want to leave it and just study on my own. In the Bible it tells us why we should congregate and fellowship and I believe in that. But I think churches get confused once they are established and I’ve seen this time and again . . . that material abundance equals blessing and that is not always the case. Then you see churches making decisions based on monetary influence and not so much the Book anymore. They also confuse religion with faith and that gets taught to its parishners.

        There is no religion that is as important as the personal relationship with God and once you see a church beginning to step in between that person and the relationship, you know something is wrong.

    • sandyk01 August 29, 2010

      What a painful experience it must have been for Michael (or anyone) to be told he wasn’t welcome in his church “family” anymore, especially at the young age he was still at.

      bcox210, I’m sorry for your experience. I’ve read this sort of thing before and always have difficulty understanding it.

      Blessings to you as your new journey unfolds.

      I’m sure you already know that God never stopped loving you!

      Best wishes!

      • bcox210 August 29, 2010

        Sandyk01, yes and you are so sweet to send me that encouragement. :o) I know God hasn’t stopped loving me. I know because I feel good about what I am doing and I know persecution comes with people lacking the understanding of just what it is God convicts you to do.

        Michael was about as close to God as an adult can get that I’ve seen in my lifetime. Jehovah’s Witness, much like my own church, lacks understanding that God doesn’t follow a particular church doctrine and when He gives you a job to do, you do it, knowing the ignorance is going to come.

        Michael’s strength in his faith came from his studying the Bible without the confines of religious influence. You can see it in his strength of faith during both trials and the fact that despite everything people put him through, his character and faith in God never wavered. I can do nothing but admire and try to emulate that.

        When the ship on the water remains after a long battering storm, you know that strength is frame deep.

    • bogdana August 30, 2010

      I couldn’t reply to your reply to my reply (probably we’re not allowed more than two replies so as not to digress, ha ha) so I’ll post it here. Wow — You are my soul sister and I mean that! When you find yourself mirrored in someone else, and that’s rare… Yes, confusing religion with faith is very common, not only inside churches, but with most people. To me, religion has more to do with rituals, where faith is not the focus. Oh boy… talking about the “money” aspect in a church… I was born in Orthodox Christianity… you should see what rituals priests continue to impose on people here. I mean it’s disgusting. And priests are so RICH because of this. I believe a “church” like the Body of Christ is a group of people who come together to strengthen their faith, to love and support each other, to grow in their love for God and so on. I mean, Christ never said, “if you don’t do this or do that you are not welcome”. As you said, the church leaders get confused, and that is mostly because money come in the picture… And we all know “money is the root of all evil” as Michael said. You are absolutely right, as soon as you feel the church or any other person tries to put obstacles to your personal faith, that can’t be right. Well there is much to say on this topic, don’t want to bother Karen with this. Wish we could talk to you more, but in private. Peace and blessings.

      • bcox210 August 30, 2010

        It seemed to work though! (the reply to my reply to your reply . . . eh, I think I mixed that up . . . anyway) You can contact me in private. I don’t want to put my email address on here, but my facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/bonnie.cox210.

        It also talks in the Bible about Churches falling away. I remember one of Michael’s quotes about how the stuff in the Bible was coming true and that was earlier in his career. He was a visionary in more ways that just entertainment.

    • bogdana August 30, 2010

      Yup. Thanks Bonnie. Sent a request on FB.

  17. sheila0825 August 29, 2010

    Thank you Karen for sharing these memories with us….while reading it, I was thinking how hard could it be for a person not having the blessing of celebrate his birthday….Michael wherever he is, I know he is having an amazing one~ :)

  18. qtnnotti August 29, 2010

    Thank you for sharing this amazing, heartfelt story with us. It did make me cry and that’s all I could manage to do while reading it. I love you Karen, just stay like you are!!! and Michael – Your heart is forever beating in mine!..

    Love you both to pieces

    Neeha

  19. majka1 August 29, 2010

    Thank you Karen. I understand, because I know Jehowas witness religion a little. This is very problematical. When I was younger, I worked in hospital. I have met some of Jehowas witness. Boys can´t go in an army. People can´t to accept blood transfusion. For every friend is today very special. We can try to celebrate it, with the love sending for every people around us. You continue your promise, but 29 august could be National Day of L.O.V.E. and humanity. This is very good date. In 27th august was born Mother Theresa, in 31 th august died Princess Diana, and today was born Michael Jackson.

  20. 3gardenias August 29, 2010

    Thank you, Karen. You write so beautifully…..I for a moment feel like I’m there back in time with you and Michael….and I’m given respite. That’s a lovely thing for you to do. Thank you….and today we celebrate life…..MJ’s…yours…and our good fortune to know you both….LOVE, P <3

  21. minervav August 29, 2010

    gracias karen! Este dia lo recordaremos con el dia en que un ser humano enorme y especial llego a este mundo y se quedo para siempre en el corazon de todos. Eres una persona afortunada! Abrazos

  22. Andy August 29, 2010

    Karen,

    Thanks for sharing with us, another exciting story …

    Each of us has our own personal truth and It’s on time, but most of these “truths” that make us develop new thoughts and other “truths” are related to behaviors or patterns learned in our cultures, clans, social, nuclear families, religious orders from our past that are present throughout our lives. I wonder how difficult it was to drop their beliefs. A tough and painful. The contents of our files to make us see things the way they wish and not as they are. Sometimes it creates certain requirements match the desires of others, we miss fears, self-pity, need to be accepted, many “fears” and many other factors and they all end in a decisive manner interfering and contaminating our understanding of truth in that often it was just an illusion and we don’t saw. I hope at some point in his life, he has relaxed and used his free will. Beacuse “blame” is something very heavy to carry. Even more so when it exists only in our head. It must have been hard for you not to say or a wish happy birthday …

    Kisses with love,

    Andy.

  23. cricio1950 August 29, 2010

    My mom and all her family are Jehovah’s Witness and i know very well this sense of guilty.. never let you a part you have to be very strong and determinated person to move on from all this.

  24. perfume_perversion August 29, 2010

    I’m forever thankful for the memories you share with us. I’m keeping this one, together with the others, in my heart.

  25. aguedamperez August 29, 2010

    Karen: Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful memories! Thank you for being with him and support him; Thank you for your wonderful friendship! :) ILYM.

  26. arubiana August 29, 2010

    Such a beautiful story, it really shows MJ’s desire to do what he believed was right.

  27. lightseekermj August 29, 2010

    wow ..that’s some story…this is really a gift you’re sharing today karen. yes religion can be restrictive more than it should sometimes… i understand the guilt he had …being raised for so long into certain ways of living, but i’m glad he chose to go on with his career …and give us the ultimate gift … i could go as far and say it was a higher call that he followed . i;ve always seen him one step above religion in a strict sense … more like spiritual …and his strong belief in god and the way god works thru him is so reassuring and inspiring … i never knew exactly why he left the JW but i’m glad he did …your words are extremely touching…thank you so much for sharing this …

  28. sunflower1111 August 29, 2010

    Karen,

    My heart sunk as I began to read this. I have just come from our site where we made big deal out of Michael’s birthday today.

    I cried through this writing – not because of us celebrating his birthday as we do have pictures up on our site of the birthday parties he gave his children – but, over him having to make such a choice of whether to worship where he choose or to entertain.

    You are so generous to share these personal stories with us. I hang on your every written word and I treasure every story you share with us. Thank you so much for such a gift you give to us!

    I too belonged to a church that was very similar to Michael’s church. I have left this church by choice but, I still hold firm the beliefs. I just could not walk the straight and narrow path they expected of its members. It is not about anything bad that I want to be doing – but, rather I don’t want to have someone overlooking my life in such a way that feels intrusive to me.

    I know how it shakes your foundation when you are without this structure though when you are used to it. It is good to have such a compass but, horrible to have such guilt. It is all hard.

    I wonder if Michael ever went back to JW or how he would feel about his children going there now.

    Karen – I was thinking about you today as well. I did not know how much you really had on your mind on top of everything else. You are a loyal friend.

    Love,
    Sunflower1111

  29. asbisi August 29, 2010

    Hi Karen! I used to be one of your FB friends. I don´t know if you remember me, I made a photoshopped picture of Michael from the TII poster. I had him hanging on a cross with $$$$ written on it. I remember you commented on it.

    I am glad I found you here.

    What a bittersweet story. Thanks, Karen. So great of Michael to celebrate his children´s birthdays in spite of his mixed feelings. You can see on video footage that they really enjoyed it.

  30. newshimone August 29, 2010

    Thank you, Karen, for giving us the gift of another truth about Michael’s life. Each one brings us greater understanding, empathy and love for you both.

    I’ve been following your comments here and on Twitter. Your willingness to share with us is even more amazing because of all the inexplicable abuse from fans that you handle with so much dignity and grace. I don’t know how you put up with it, but I am full of awe and gratitude that you do.

    Rather than wishing Michael a Happy Birthday, as I have done silently every year since 1969, on each August 29 I will simply give thanks to God for sending to Katherine and Joseph the miracle of a child they so fittingly called Michael.

  31. sunsetbug August 29, 2010

    The struggle that Michael always seemed to have with himself over his religious beliefs has always tugged at my heart. Some of the restrictions placed on him by his church seem so harsh and unreasonable. I hope that he was able to put aside some of that guilt and enjoy his birthday and Christmas, at least a little.

    It is so sweet that he made sure that other children, like his cousins and of course, Prince, Paris and Blanket always enjoyed the blessing of fun that he was never allowed.

  32. ramsss70 August 29, 2010

    Karen, your soul is so beautiful. Thank you so much I love you

  33. mjjoy August 29, 2010

    Hi Karen–Thank you so much for explaining the things Michael experienced and had to go through. If if weren’t for you, I would never have known this. It warms my heart to know how deeply he felt about worship and his consideration of others at all times. I did give a big Happy Birthday to MJ on a forum today but I think MJ wouldn’t mind my doing that. It came out of love. Everyone so appreciates your sharing these things with us and how much it means to us. Love to you.

  34. alinemj August 29, 2010

    Hi karen Thank you – Michael I love you so much

  35. beagleladywv August 29, 2010

    I have always found it heartbreaking that Michael was forced out of the JW religion. How could a loving and forgiving religion even do such a thing to one of it’s members? To be as famous as he was and to still be following the church’s wishes as best he could, should have been enough for them. Thank God, that although they could desert him as a church, but they couldn’t get him to give up his faith in God. It seems they didn’t take the time to see what was in his heart. He must have felt terribly betrayed, hurt, scared, frustrated- every emotion possible.

    On one hand he had this religiously devoted mother, and on the the other hand a philandering, undemonstrative father. I’m sure his church was the one stabilizing force in his life. I’m sure he felt lost after being forced to leave. What a choice the Witnesses gave him- Give up your church or the purpose you felt God sent you into the world to accomplish! Unbelievable!

    I have to admit I cringed when I saw the picture of the children coming out of the JW church. How can Katherine reconcile having them in that church and then also allowing them to have birthdays and Christmas? I would think that would be very confusing to them. How can they do this and still be allowed to be part of the church?

    I don’t know if it is true or not, but I read that Michael had the children baptized in a catholic church. I know nothing about the catholic church, but will they baptize someone whose parents are not catholic as well? Did he want them brought up Catholic? I assume since he left the children to his mother, that he knew that she would be indoctrinating them to the JW beliefs. I just hope the children are free to be children.

    As they say, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” I don’t care if you call it “birthday” or not. The birth of a child is something to be celebrated.

  36. wendyjackson August 29, 2010

    I like your writing, simple but always powerful. Your bottom line says a lot about you too, Karen. Michael never released you from your promise I knew about Michael’s struggles about Christmas and birthdays, but didnt know you were “trapped” into those struggles. Must have been so hard for you, when you love someone that much, not to be able to say what you’d like to say, simply : “Happy Birthday Michael”. It adds an extra element to your relationship with him, one of deprivation and respect at the same time. Self control and unselfishness. I can feel anguish right now about it. Thanks for sharing, I need to say this one more time, Karen, I care about you more than you know, maybe more than you’ll ever know. Maybe that’s why I feel specially touched by your position in this story, not that much by Michael’s. I feel the deprivation of being closer to you and holding your hand virtually at least for obvious reasons, I wished my road to you was stone-free. Have a nice week, I’ll be thinking of you. <3

  37. sequins4mj August 29, 2010

    Hello Karen – Tears were streaming down my face and I had a lump the size of a marble in my throat as I read this piece. I had read that Michael had not celebrated Birthdays and Christmas because of his religion and also through his speech at the Grammys and video footage of his first Xmas, compliments of Elizabeth Taylor but your private memories pertaining to this has allowed me to understand this in a different light. When he was in the Jackson Five, they sang such beautiful Xmas songs full of Festive joy. Little did we know that this little boy along with his brothers had no Xmas tree to decorate, no presents to open and no celebrations and for every year older he became no birthday cake, no birthday party and again no presents. It is only natural for children to enjoy these times and emotionally it must have been difficult at times. Going door to door on the ministry would have been no easy mission – more doors would have been shut after knocking than opened, but once inside especially during the Festive season, witnessing the fun being had would have been testing but Michael was a dedicated witness. To have had to choose between serving God and following his ” Craft ” which he believed was God given for him to share with the world would have been no easy choice. To witness his dilemma must have been hard for you Karen. It is second nature for us to want to give – be it a hug, or a gift and best wishes to people we care about. Michael was so passionate about giving his children the childhood he missed out on. He wanted them to enjoy it for as long as they could. I am so happy to know that he did enjoy the fan events he attended where inevitably a huge cake was wheeled out! Your continued kindness in allowing us to share some of your private memories has helped tremendously and allowed me to feel closer to Michael and indeed yourself. I understand your reasoning that you have aquired an enormous following because of your friendship with Michael. It has been of great comfort to know he had you by his side for all those years. The disgraceful treatment and untrue rumours that you have been subjected to is a sad reflection on what is so wrong in society today. I am sure it stems from one thing and one thing only – JEALOUSY. You were and remain totally loyal to your friend. I sincerely hope all this bickering and fighting amongst some fans will stop. God Bless you.

  38. grnize August 29, 2010

    Thank you so much Karen for lifting my spirits today by sharing your memories of Michael. For some reason, the anniversary of his birth has been harder on me than the anniversary of the day he was taken away. You are one of only a few whom were true friends to him. You respected and loved this beautiful man. You are my link to the real Michael, and I appreciate that more than you will ever know. Bless you Karen, and I look forward to your future posts.

  39. annlikesmike August 29, 2010

    Pat said it best.

    Thank you for giving us this gift on Michael’s birthday.

  40. zenalicious August 29, 2010

    “He never released me from my promise to not say it to him.”

    You understood and validated his inner struggle, selflessly which probably meant more than any number of ‘Happy Birthdays’ that you could have said to him. Perhaps, having at least one person who truly understood was comforting…

    Thanks for sharing <3

    Love always,
    Z

  41. sandyshores50 August 29, 2010

    That must have been so difficult, Karen. Thank you for sharing your story.

    I was wondering if Michael ever celebrated an “unbirthday” day, like the Joe Jackson day that was shown in the Michael Jackson Home Movies. In the home movies, it showed the family at Neverland celebrating an alternate without celebrating Joe’s actual birthday.

  42. sandyk01 August 29, 2010

    Karen, thank you for sharing a little bit of your day with all of us.

    I wanted to share this video I found of Michael being interviewed on the 50th anniversary of his birth. Just two short years ago. It seems like yesterday! It’s from ABC News and is conducted by Chris Connelly:

    CC: How do you plan to celebrate your 50th birthday?

    MJ: Oh, I’ll just have a little cake with my children and we’ll probably watch some cartoons.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLPgkxg33jw

    We miss you Michael!!! You’ll always be in our hearts!!! :(

    Forever blessings!!!
    Sandy

  43. ladypurr9 August 29, 2010

    Dear Karen,

    You are a most special friend to Michael! All through the years, surely he must have known in his heart that you would be as constant and reliable as the sun rising each day–there for him in the good times and the bad times.

    You understood him and accepted him and, most importantly, you valued his friendship. Far too many people used him and took him for granted. As hard as it must have been NOT to celebrate his birthday, honoring his wishes was more important. I’m glad that he got to experience the joy of birthdays and Christmases over the years.

    When you meet up with him again in the “spirit” world, birthdays won’t even matter because time will be a concept that no longer exists.

    Thank you! I so look forward to your sharing. It is your shared memories that give us fans the most sincere and authentic glimpse into the real Michael Jackson.

    Bless You, Karen!

  44. pcr14 August 29, 2010

    Thank you very much for sharing this memory today, Karen. Being a JW myself, I can’t tell you how grateful we are to those who don’t judge us, but rather try to simply accept we are and act different (which doesn’t neccessarily mean you will share our beliefs).

    I know how difficult it can be for those who do celebrate to understand our point of view, so your effort to not wish him well on his b-day speaks so much about your loyalty to Michael. I guess that might have given you more times to show him your love throughout the year, just out of love, not because of a date.

    Even now, that he is gone, you keep your promise and I guess that can be understood reading your note. I am glad to have never wished MJ a happy b-day, but to have thanked God many times for the gift of Michael in our lives.

    Thank you, Karen. Hope you have a great week.

    • pcr14 August 30, 2010

      I am glad my comment is still awaiting fro moderation, for I hope this will give you time, Karen, to read this new comment too.

      I have been thinking very much about the private issue you shared yesterday. Although I understand you do this to show the world and especially fans your love for Michael, and even when your keep loyal to your promise of never saying “happy b-day” to him, I can’t help but wonder if Michael would have ever wanted such a private and intimate moment to be shared in a blog.

      I am not the owner of the truth. I know little about Michael. You are the one who knows him best, no question about that. However, after reading some comments here about your note made understand why Michael always keep his private issues private. As far as I know, Michael never made any public statements giving details about why, how and when he left the JW. It was his sister, LaToya, who gave details on her book and now you, in your blog share a totally different story from the inside and from daily life with MJ.

      With all your due respect, Karen, I think some things are meant to be kept private if the person who faced those facts decided during all his life to keep that private. We don’t have all the information here and sure we will never have it, but being a JW myself and seeing your point when you say deep inside he always kept his loyalty to Jehovah and his values, I would dare to say he wouldn’t feel that good if he knew a personal issue, once private, now public, is the reason for people to make certain hard comments on JW or religions in general, the same way I guess a devoted Catholic or a devoted Muslim wouldn’t like to be the reason for people to say bad things about his / her religion/beliefs. I might be wrong, but I think MJ never had bad words to his former religion in public, and being the gentleman he is he will always deal with those issues at a private level, as he always did.

      I understand, however, all that is far from being your intention while sharing this memory. You just want to share a bit of the Michael you knew, the man we lost. Certainly, sometimes we just can’t imagine the effect our comments/memories/actions will have in others and so we can’t but trying to be cautious. But having MJ such a huge amount of fans around the world, there’s certainly no way to know what the reactions will be :-) Mine certainly will surprise many :-)

      All this said, Karen, I hope you will not get me wrong. This is no way a personal attack (you certainly don’t need any more of that). It’s just that I feel the fact of you sharing such private memory openly, gives us place to give you our personal opinions openly too. Plase excuse me if my comments are a critic to your note.

      All that said, Karen, please feel free to delete my two posts if these make you feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to trouble you in anyway and I will not feel trouble for that in anyway eiter.

      It’s a deal :-)

      Warmest regards!

      • Karen Faye August 30, 2010

        Just before the second allegations, Michael asked me to write a book about him, and the truths in his life. It was going to be a book of his personal “behind the scenes” photos, and small stories about the truth of what was going on in his life. He read several stories I composed, and he was thrilled. We had just begun shopping the book to publishers, with much interest, until the raid on Neverland. Then, publishers only wanted trash written about him. So I put the project to rest. Now, he is gone…and I have several stories and topics that he already approved of, and I wish to share them with those who really cared. I can no longer proceed with our original plan, because his estate owns all the photos he was going to make available for the book, but I can continue his wish for me to tell the world the truth about him. This is the least I can do to honor him, and GIVE fans a chance to know him as I did. It is what he asked me to do. So if you are offended, or think it is wrong….don’t visit my blog, because I will continue to share Michael with those who want to know.

      • sandyk01 August 30, 2010

        Hello pcr14,

        I just finished reading your comment and Karen’s reply. You’ve expressed your point very well and it is a valid point to make. I also very much appreciated Karen’s reply.

        From someone looking in from the outside, I genuinely believe Karen is a person of character and integrity and would not do something against Michael’s wishes. I believe that with all my heart! We all remember that a year ago, a number of people rushed out with books (more like tabloid trash) to capitalize on the intense emotional response to Michael’s passing. I will not pollute this blog with their names and I wouldn’t touch their books (tabloid trash that is) with a barg pole!! Karen, to your credit, you didn’t do this. In fact, you have said you have no intension of writing a book. However, if you ever did, I know that it would have Michael’s blessing (as you mentioned in your reply), be truthful, respectful, and be told with love! It’s a shame you don’t have access to those photos any more. I’m sure thay would have been a wonderful addition.

        Karen, I know that whatever you do or don’t do, people will find reason to critize you. Sadly, that will always be the case. In fact, it’s heartbreaking how cruel and abusive people have been in that regard. I don’t understand it.

        It is clear that your relationship with Michael was honest and real. I have no doubt of this. I admire your deep sense of care and respect for your friend. You were able to see him as a real person over many years in a way that none of us ever could. Thank you for cutting through the “celebrity” stuff (and the B.S.) and allowing us to see that real person too. Even more important, thank you for sharing what you learned from him and how he changed your life. I’m sure he felt you enriched his life too. At the end of the day, that’s what friendship is all about. :)

        pcr14, I was interested in you comments about how decisions by high profile individuals can affect public opinion about different religions, if I’m interpreting correctly. This is a difficult issue. Although my knowledge about the JW faith is limited, Michael’s situation didn’t shaped my view of JW. The thing that speaks loudest for me in this account is Michael’s continued faith despite his emotionally difficult decision to leave JW. He had to leave the church but he never left the faith, from what I understand. Like you said, Michael neither promoted nor bad mouthed JW in public and certainly he knew the potential affect of his public comments. I can only speak for myself of course, but I don’t feel Karen sharing this story hurts the JW church or Michael. For me, this is a human story of a real struggle and internal conflict. This makes Michael very real and very relatable and helps us to understand him better as a human being. However, you brought up imortant points for discussion.

        Karen, stay strong and keep doing what you’re doing. My respect and affection grows for BOTH you and Michael.

        Forever blessings,
        Sandy

  45. nathalie7705 August 29, 2010

    Thank you, Karen, for this touching story.

    Miss him every single day of my life:-(

  46. fgp1000 August 30, 2010

    Karen your stories are heart warming and thank you so much for sharing them with us. I also want to thank you for giving Michael your love and support. Roxy

  47. annemettej August 30, 2010

    Thank you for sharing! Lots of LOVE and GRATITUDE from Denmark :)

  48. paola9 August 30, 2010

    Dear Karen this touching story shows one more time how Michael was such a sensitive and amazing human being. Yesterday, Michael’s birthday anniversary struck me so hard. Maybe the fact that the world was (rightly!) celebrating without him being here, increased (if possible) my feeling of loss. Despite your warning “You may cry reading it, as I did while writing it”, I read this story and even though I burst into tears, I think it’s worth knowing it because it’s another fragment of the beauty of Michael. And I’m so glad he showed up that morning. I’m glad he made that choice. It’s heartbreaking to see how his unlimited love for his children made him overcome his sense of guilt so he could give them the birthdays that he never had. Thank you for deciding to share it with us despite doing this brought you so much pain. I can’t imagine how much difficult and painful all these memories must be for you. I think he was so glad you always respected and honoured his wishes but I’m sure that, wherever he is now, there are no more “boxes” and religious limits, no more; wherever he is now he surely has released you from your promise! Thanks Karen for giving me your attention since people around me couldn’t understand my painful feelings. P.S. I’d like to know if you received some kind of “sign” on his birthday, again? (Or maybe on another day?). I LOVE YOU MORE! Paola

  49. demic7 August 30, 2010

    your personal experience with michael moved me so much Mrs.faye. desperately my response was to wanna swoop michael up In comfort ,stand as a block of defence/protection from those who Inflicted emotional pain upon him! I respect Jehovah witness’ss and the religion Itself ,so I speak no ill towards them! My Issue are with those individual humans who personally Inflicted and tortured our Beautiful Michael thru out his life on earth using the pusinement of their filthy hands or mouth to inflict pain upon him !

    I’m sorry If my writing comes off confusing,so I best end It here ,In doing so I like to Thank you Mrs.faye you and Michael share something Beautiful that’s uniqually yours alone :)

  50. dove7 August 30, 2010

    Thank you for sharing these precious memories, Karen. I really enjoy reading your blog. I hope you´re doing well.

  51. dangerous77 August 30, 2010

    This is a lovely story Karen, thank you for sharing this with all of us. I enjoyed reading this very much

  52. marcelane August 30, 2010

    Thanks dear Karen for sharing with us. Michael had much pressure from differents places. Incredible since he was a child. A wonderful man that did no want to hurt anyone.

  53. hannahkozak August 30, 2010

    To have one person who truly understands you is perhaps the greatest gift we can have. It’s no wonder Michael cherished you as a friend always especially since he was judged so much by others with black and white thinking, for simply loving.

    Your shares are helping others to see how human Michael was in spite of his larger than life persona and hopefully will open people’s hearts with compassion and empathy for him. Michael Jackson gave up his childhood for his medium. He gave us a lasting gift of music that we’ll always have.

    What this share shows me is that no matter what Michael did, he was committed and passionate about. It’s part of his genius.

    BTW, Karen I shared your blog with: She was happy to find out about your blog and has linked you on her site.

  54. lovemyarabians1 August 30, 2010

    Thank you very much Karen! I truly enjoy this blog. All my best.

  55. olgayr August 30, 2010

    Dear Karen, Thank YOU so much to give us the opportunity to share not just about Michael but also what you learnt next to him. I really feel we are privileged. We were already in FB, I feel even more now, thank you so very much for it sweet Karen, it means a lot for us, a lot and it helps to know that Michael was having a person like you by his side for such a long time.

    I think Michael was always so much willing to enjoy happy moments with others that it had to be very hard for him to ask you not to congratulate him ever, and not to allow himself to enjoy this side of life with the ones he loved. Specially for such a loving person like him already had to be very taught. This side of Michael of respecting right till the end his believes is an admirable side of him. But it is also very important to continue understanding when someone make a change about them. That is the moment when is needed more comprehension and support. I think all the changes he did in his life about his religion had to be very taught for him.

    Karen, I am very happy you openned this blog, I was missing you. Keep well and have a nice workweek. I love you

  56. huchamj August 30, 2010

    Thank you for your memories. How did Michael reaction on fans on his birthday 2003y.?

  57. kconn94 August 30, 2010

    Thank you for sharing, Karen. I really enjoy reading your stories about Michael.

  58. musbme August 30, 2010

    thank you Karen, this is very touching and very insightful….

    I think MJ wanted us to know the truth and this is why He wrote songs like (((((Childhood)))))) !

    maybe it is time to make the change ..yesterday all the Jacsons were celebrating his Birthday and they were tweetig ” Happy Birthday uncle Michael”… the young generation must make the change and I think MJ walked the first mile !

  59. kop58 August 30, 2010

    Dear Karen:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I remember that when the Thriller video was released, at the end of it there was a message stating that he didn´t believe in the occult. I learned that he had to do that because of his religion, so he wouldn´t have any problems. I just can imagine his pain when he was put in the position to have to choose between his religion and his musical career, as you tell in your story. It breaks my heart to even think about that. I have an aunt that is a Jehova´s Witness, and I know what they think about celebrating birthdays, and that has kept her away from me and my sister every single birthday since we were born. And I also understand your feelings about this matter. I imagine how difficult it was for you but the fact that you respected his wishes tells about the friendship you shared with him……

    And about writing a book, I´ve been waiting for that since you told us when you were at FB. It would be an honor to have a book written by you, so please go ahead with that project. As you wrote: “It is what he asked me to do.”, so PLEASE DO IT, it´s what MICHAEL wanted and you can be sure that the ones that truly loved him will want to have that book. L.O.V.E

    • Karen Faye August 31, 2010

      At this point in time, I would rather share Michael here, without the interference with publishers, a purchase price for fans, or me being forced to do publicity tours to promote a book. I am a makeup artist…I would like to continue travel this chosen path at this time. Doing a blog will bring seekers who genuinely love and care about Michael. I have no desire to be forced in front of the media in order to sell a book.

      • kop58 August 31, 2010

        Ok Karen, I just thought it would be great to have a book written by you. I understand what you say and I respect your decision. I send to you all my support and I wish that some day I´ll be able to travel to Cali and meet you, Michael Lee, Dennis and Sammy. Thanks for all you do, for sharing this stories with us and for being such a true friend of MICHAEL´s. Take care and God bless you. L.O.V.E

      • lightseekermj September 1, 2010

        thank you for your decision . for me it would be almost impossible to buy a book …. i rather spend my money on diapers now that i have no job and especially the fact that i live so far from you would made it difficult to aquire a possible book from you …this is one of the reasons why i feel happy you decided to share your memories and lessons of life that michael gave you, this way. Hugs and kisses to you karen, Felicia.

      • sandyk01 September 1, 2010

        “Doing a blog will bring seekers who genuinely love and care about Michael. ” -Karen Faye

        Thank you Karen, for your decision!!!

        Blessings to all!

        Sandy

  60. evalo73 August 31, 2010

    all of us here, we are very interested in what we can count on Karen, a woman I think very correct with his words and never says anything bad about Michael so I followed later Karen.

  61. nikkimolinari August 31, 2010

    Karen, Thank you so much for writing your blog. Your writing feels as if I am right there with you. I think it is so amazing that Michael had you in his life. Someone he could count on to be there no matter what, and who has been and I know will continue to be so loyal to him. For that I am so gratefull. It pains me to see how many people were just looking out for their own agenda when it came to Michael and not what was best for him. You are that once in a lifetime friend. The one he could count on through thicke and thin to always be loyal to him and for that I want to Thank You. I also want to Thank You for always being so good to us fans. Your a God Send to us so that we may learn more about the Man Michael Jackson not just the entertainer. I am new at all this blog stuff and I just wanted to really just say Thank You Karen for all that you share & for always being there for Michael. God Bless You….

  62. pcr14 August 31, 2010

    Karen, Understood. No question. It’s good to see you remain loyal to your ideals. Please take care.

    Sandyk01, Thank you very much for your warm and nice comments. I truly appreciate your words :)

  63. isabeau61 August 31, 2010

    Thank you so much Karen, I can tell you were a true, loyal friend and that was rare for him. Thank you so much for being there for him in your way. Last June I saw the interview on abc 20/20 and that touched me so much… I can only immagine how hard it was for you but you were strong and did what you had to do.

    Take care,
    All my L-O-V-E and respect

  64. nathalie703s2mj August 31, 2010

    oysh. That just hurt me. I wish I could yell Happy Birthday and give him the biggest hug too. But you being there with him on that day.. it must have been harder. So Smooth Criminal, my favourite music video, is what banished him from the Jehova Witnesses.. oysh.

  65. cawobeth3 August 31, 2010

    Not surprising because Michael seems very sensitive to religious/spiritual matters and is a very respectful person regarding tradition.

    All day I just couldn’t use the word happy for him & say Happy Birthday. It just didn’t feel right. Happy ? This life transition must be quite uneasy for him at times.

    I do hope that he had a pleasant & fun day and let alllll the love in that was expressed for him on his day. Holidays still may feel a little funny for him but I doubt not quite as awkward as they used to. ♥

  66. nicole38 September 1, 2010

    “Doing a blog will bring seekers who genuinely love and care about Michael. I have no desire to be forced in front of the media in order to sell a book”. Karen Faye.

    Yes, I agree with you Karen and I understand your opinions ; it’s a personal and a cleverer way to make us know the REAL Michael and I must say that every story I learn from you is just incredible ! Again, that shows us how the man was a passionate one in everything he did, loyal, devoted but also torned and very conflicted inside (sad). I can’t imagine how difficult to take the decision might have been for him ! And what is hard is his sense of guilt inside of him through the years !

    I don’t practice any religion and I don’t believe in anything in particular but I am very respectful of everyone opinions, I stay open and I think that this is the most important thing. I have an aunt who is from Jehova Witnesses and her daughter also was when she was young ; one day, she decided to leave them, so she was rejected by her JW family but also by her own mother and brother for years. She became an adult, had children and to get back together with her mother she became again a JW but she had lost so many years !

    “He never released me from my promise to not say it to him.” Karen Faye To finish, a big HUG for Karen who kept her promise, what a beautiful friend !

    LYM
    Nicole.

    • zenalicious September 1, 2010

      I agree Nicole. In fact you got me to note how Karen by allowing us to better understand Michael and making the TRUTH about him, known… it is probably the most meaningful, productive and profound level of ‘JUSTICE’ that could be done for anyone; much less for a man whose large section of his life has been shattered by dehumanizing tabloid slanders and false testimonies, by people who barely even knew him!

      Thank you Karen for continuing to fight for Michael at every level :)

      Love to all,
      /Z

      • sandyk01 September 1, 2010

        “it is probably the most meaningful, productive and profound level of ‘JUSTICE’ that could be done for anyone,” – zenalicious

        Yes, absolutely! Well said Z! :)

        Blessings,
        Sandy

  67. karenr59 September 1, 2010

    Thank You for sharing Karen. I never doubt your level of commitment and loyalty to Michael and your friendship but everytime I read your words I am reminded that you were the one constant in his life. A true friend, confidant and lifeline….a vital link that helped hold him together.

    It must have been very difficult to see him go through such anguish, confusion and hurt in these times. And not being able to wish him a Happy Birthday when celebrating his life was so important, and respecting his wishes even to this day, you really are an incredible woman. And anyone would be lucky and blessed to call you friend. ♥

    LYM, always.
    Karen

  68. bmxgirl1980 September 1, 2010

    Dear Karen

    Thank you for sharing this story. To be honest my knowledge of Jehovah’s Witnesses is poor so I have no idea what to say about things Michael went through.but I can feel his pain and your warm sympathy toward him in this story.actually I was in tears while reading it… P.S. I am always adore how you are loyal to your precious friend ,Michael…

    LOVE

  69. fbea September 1, 2010

    Karen, thank you again for sharing with us this beautiful testimony, his suffering is really poignant and fortunately he was able to find support, understanding and comfort in a wonderful person like you, so loyal, faithful, devoted and caring. What I also like is his mother’s attitude, while being an ardent follower and practitioner of Jehovah’s Witnesses, she chose to put her love for her son as a priority, she respected Michael’s choice, she was on his side and supported him even if this situation was difficult for her… I admire her open-mindedness, it seems she always wanted to respect the personality and individuality of each of her children. I also think she realized that Michael had a gift to share with the world, a destiny to fulfill and that she couldn’t oppose it without hurting him badly. Would he have taken the decision to continue if his mom had criticized him and rejected the same way as Jehovah’s Witnesses? And thank you so much Karen for wanting to continue to share with us moments of his life, these magic moments, wonderful, happy or difficult you spent with him … it’s priceless to us and he knew you was the perfect person to do it. LYM Françoise

  70. mjergirl79 September 2, 2010

    Dear Karen,

    I would like to thank you for your wonderful blog site. I appreciate the fact that you have been kind enough to share much cherished experiences you have had with your dear friend Michael.

    I enjoyed reading your first hand account of Michael’s conflict over birthday celebrations and how it impacted on you. Reading your story had me thinking and I realised the first time I ever publicly celebrated Michael’s birthday was 29th August 2009. I did so again this year. For me, Michael’s birthday now represents an opportunity to come together with other fans to celebrate his legacy and express our love for him. I have made some lovely new friends as a result of doing so and hope that Michael would be happy to know that new lifelong friendships are being formed all across the world in his name.

    Once again, thank you. I feel that this is a safe place to visit to exchange thoughts and opinions and I am happy to read that you will continue to share with those who appreciate and value your experiences with Michael.

    God bless you, Karen.

    Pat

  71. mijac85 September 3, 2010

    thank you so much Karen!! For example, for Catholic religion are much important to celebrate birthday or Christmas, or festivity but it’ s only a matter of cultural and education!! I think religion should be chosen in adulthood!! But, i have a question: Michael at last time celebrating birthday with his family and friend or not?

    Titti

    • lightseekermj September 4, 2010

      i think God should be at the center of faith …not religion…religion comes in many forms and are all made by humans. God is only one and universal reguardless of the name you call Him by (Allah,Jehovah and so on).

  72. lovemyarabians1 September 3, 2010

    Hi Karen, could you share stories about the trip to China you took with Michael sometime?

    Thank you,
    Cindy

  73. mjjoy September 3, 2010

    Hi Karen–Thank you for being here. Thank you for helping us to not only grieve in a healthy way but heal, and to get to know the man, Michael Jackson as a person and an individual. I saw the 20/20 interview you gave along with Michael Bush and another gentleman, and I loved listening to the answers you gave. You were so forthcoming in an honest way using just the right words to describe the situation. I send a big Thank You to the three of you for spending those 9 hours making sure that Michael looked beautiful as always. I know it was done with love, courage, tears and as you said…Honor. Much love to you, and be good to yourself.

  74. hairball64 September 4, 2010

    It seems that Michael always carried the worlds pain on his shoulders. People just don’t understand the depth of his compassion for others. He never wanted to hurt another human being and that is what he was all about. Yet look at what the world did to him. To celebrate Michael’s birthday to me is a celebration of a MAN that God brought into this world to do exactly what he did…he make us smile while inside he felt such torment. He will be in my heart for all eternity!!!!

  75. hwi56568 September 4, 2010

    Thank you for being a good friend to Michael.He was very lucky to have you in his life as you were to have him in yours Love and Light Helena

  76. xenedra September 5, 2010

    Thank you for posting this beautiful story Karen. It is a gift. Truly.

    Everytime I read something like this…something that gives real insight into ‘Michael, The Man’ I feel blessed.

    Michael is my muse, and the inspiration behind my artwork, and writing. But it’s who he was on the inside that was the most precious thing. His art, his music, his dance…that was God’s gift to the world that most people see, when they can appreciate Michael for his genius.

    But what I value more, and see as his most precious contribution to the world, was his unique and caring soul. To me now, the world feels like it’s lost some kind of intangible, and very special magic, since Michael passed. And that, makes me ache. But I try to keep him alive in my heart, by following his example, and by living out my gifts to their fullest and not squandering it. When I think about all he accomplished through his work ethic, and sheer force of charisma and talent, it lights a fire under me to do better.

    And, I watch a whole lot of Michael’s footage on youtube, I must admit. He cheers me up when I’m down or stressed. And it feels like he’s still present among us somehow if I celebrate his work by enjoying it. I love watching his performances. And I only wish I had gotten to see him perform live…but this will have to do. :-) But what I love more, are the tiny clips here and there where we get the smallest glimpse of who he was. That was the real miracle. There will never be another Michael Jackson.

    But of course, you know that. :’-

    :-) You are a very lucky woman, Karen…to have been blessed enough to know who he really was. Angels like that – they are a ‘once in a hundred lifetimes’ thing. I think it must have really been something to know him…I’ll bet he was a delight…flaws and all.

    I wish you all the best.

    -Jeanne Decklar (xenedra)

  77. rosalers September 6, 2010

    Dear Karen

    Just want to tell you ….. Thanks … from my heart. Blessings <3

  78. ladypurr9 September 6, 2010

    Hello Karen,

    I don’t pretend to speak for anyone else, but I’m very pleased that you have chosen this medium to share your memories of Michael. There is something about you that assures me you would NEVER say anything about your beloved friend that would be inappropriate.

    Human beings are the most complex beings on the planet. We are all so different in the way we think, act, talk, walk and interpret things. Those who come here obviously love Michael Jackson and know that what is sweetly offered up here is authentic and heartfelt. It is shared honestly, without fear of being offensive or misinterpreted.

    When I think about Michael, I can’t help but wonder if, toward the end of his life, he felt that he couldn’t trust anyone, except his own children. I pray that he never doubted your friendship.

    Recently I read about his time in Ireland and how it appeared like he was finally experiencing a modicum of peace and soul rest. There were people there who treated him like a normal person and who did their best to protect him from the intrusive and “ugly” press. Many fans wish that he could have stayed in Ireland.

    To know how incredibly creative and sensitive he was and to understand in a small way how horribly he was treated during so many years of his adult life, I often just sit and cry. Then I ask, “how can human beings treat someone so cruelly for so long and the world just not take notice and say, Enough!?

    I was once “just fan of his music”. Exploring his life over the last 18 months has caused me to love this man dearly for his selfless generosity and determined efforts to make our world more compassionate, more loving. I look forward to your stories because we’ll learn more about a human being that made his life count, and because he has touched us so deeply, we’ll be

    compelled to share what we’ve learned with those who, for far too long, hold a very inaccurate picture of him.

    Believing strongly in the knowledge that we never really die, that we simply revert back to “spiritual” energy, I take comfort in knowing that for those who understand this concept and long to “connect” with him beyond the physical, there is nothing that can truly separate us from him. He touched us on such a deep level.

    Blessings to you!

    • Karen Faye September 8, 2010

      good one :)

  79. pitt04 September 7, 2010

    I am a Jehovah’s Witness and I believe that Michael loved God with all his heart. He reflected God’s qualities in his conduct. Unfortunally he was called “gay”, because he tried to follow Jehovah’s principles and not sleep with everyone woman who wanted to sleep with him. (And that would have been millions He felt uncomfortable celebrating Holidays, because he knew they were pagan. It had to be hard for him to live in separate the enterainment world from, and our religion, when he was surrounded by people who didn’t believe what he knew. I love Michael Jackson and I know that Jehovah understood his battle.

  80. alimjfollower September 8, 2010

    Hello dear karen !

    I don’t know what to say now … I’m crying right now ! Do you remember me ? It’s Me ! Ali : ali gharachorloo , from iran ! : alighar1979 !! Years ago i sent some emails to you and you answered me with all your love and i am still very grateful . You told me my name is similar to the name of your daughter alicia (?) if i could remember . You called her “ali” too , right ?

    Oh dear karen … I’m so happy to find you again . i lost that ID and i forgot your email address . Now i have another ID : ali_mjfollower@yahoo.com

    Oh dear karen … what a horrible event it was !! our great master michael jackson died an i completely destroyed … i cryed and cryed and cryed and …

    Now , i am reading your amazing sentences . You are a very kind woman . you were very close to michael . You must proud .

    From this day on , i will read all your posts every time . i have a lot of things to say to you … thank you for sharing these beautiful memories with the world . You are giving so much of love . Thank you . Thank you …

    I will be glad if you send me just 1 email with just one word in it : hi !!!

    Excuse me for my bad english writing . I’m so sorry . I’m really confused now !

    Again thank you and thank you .

    God Bless you for all your kindness and friendship !

    With All My Love : Ali_MJfollower

    Permanent Live The King Michael Jackson …

  81. kampanilla83 September 8, 2010

    wow Karen, i’m breathless and speechless… I love all the stories you always share with us, now each time i see Moonwalker or Smooth i will remember this. When i read ur words i can see Michael so perfectly….WHAT AN AMAZING and AWSOME HUMAN being he was <3 In every single way…

    Karen do u still not celebrating his bday?

    Some way, I think ,may it's hard for you because our culture it's about celebrating that day so when you love someone u love to tell him/her Happy bday as a demostration of love. In the other hand ,i think ,the only way not do it it's because ur love for that person it's beyond anything.So it's beautiful you keep ur promise for life …

    I'm tears, whatta amazing FRIENDSHIP and LOVE. I cannot imagine what ur heart is feeling all this time without Michael …

    Thanks for sharing ur memories Karen. They live in you and now they live in us*

    GOD BLESS YOU Karen<3

  82. sineadwoods September 9, 2010

    Karen,

    Thank you for sharing something that makes us understand Michael more, and something I’m sure he would have no problem with people knowing, as it is the Truth. After years of so many ridiculous stories circulating about him/his image, I’m sure he would appreciate ANYthing REAL being said about him.

    What striked me the most in your comments in this thread is that he didn’t judge or hurt others who didn’t have the same beliefs. I wish there were more people like that!! It’s so easy to judge others without taking the “plank” out of your own eye… and I’m guilty of that. But I realise it, and I realise how difficult it is to respect others when it comes to things of a personal nature. And our own faith is a personal thing. But I can tell that you mean he was like that in general – not just about religious views. And that’s amazing! :) That alone speaks volumes about him as a person.

    By the way, I remember reading a rumour in the late 90’s or maybe the year ’00 about a new autobiography-type book coming out, and sadly it was never realised. I wonder if that was the book you were planning. Anyway, I agree that this blog is the best way of sharing your experiences and memories, for all of us. It’s the most precious blog in the world. :) ~XX~

  83. majka1 September 10, 2010

    Hello Karen. I thinking about your words. For my opinion book vriting is very good idea. It will succesfull, because you will write with your heart.

  84. prov31wmn September 14, 2010

    Thanks for sharing that story, Karen. I can’t tell you how many treasured, intimate stories I’ve read about Michael from people like yourself who have been a major part of his life. It warms my heart to know he had people to truly confide in and just be himself. I am committed just like millions of Michael Jackson “advocates” to keep his message and music of love alive.

    Keep the Faith

  85. Karmen September 20, 2010

    Dear Karen,

    first of all THANK YOU so much for sharing, here and on twitter both. It feels so much like being closer to Michael, like being more a part of his world, these are gifts that are simply priceless. It is only becoming of Michael’s and his close companions’ selfless heart, but I dont take any of it for granted. I registered with this site just to be able to reply here and say how grateful I am. Thy say first love never dies, and I believe its true. I fell in love with Michael’s music when I was about 6, 7 years old (Im 34 now) and the more I knew about him the more I loved him. Every time life got me down it was Michael who got me up, he was always there, every single time. Even when I couldnt find solace in the religion that I was rigidly practicing for almost 15 years, during which time I stopped my connection with anything not connected to it, including Michael, when I reached for him after such a long time, his music (art, films, words, deeds…) helped me, when no one/nothing else would, he was still there for me. Truly as if God, Universe, meant for Michael to be my guardian angel, my life’s inspiration. Even in my deepest despair, he is always there… Words can never express how grateful I am for his presence in this world, for all the countless wonderful and glorious things he has done and continues doing for this planet and the little tiny me in it all. To me he continues to live and he always will, my heart is forever his loving home. I will always love him most, although Ive never met him not even seen a glimpse of him in person… I pray he is happy wherever he is now.

    Warm greetings and hugs from Croatia to you Karen L.O.V.E. Karmen

  86. missgrandiosity September 22, 2010

    Wow, thank you for sharing that with us.

  87. sag10 September 23, 2010

    I am sitting here watching some videos of Michael, wondering how did we as human brothers and sisters fail him..

    Why didn’t we take care of this gift that was given to us from our creator, our GOD?

  88. slyvetterob September 24, 2010

    Karen, I really appreciate your love and loyalty to Michael. And while I understand it had to have been confusing and a little difficult to understand his religous beliefs, at least you tried to respect it as best you could. That said, I have to correct a little bit of what you said about him leaving the religion. As someone who has been a Witness all of my life and whose family was close to this situation and loves MJ very much, his choice was not so cut and dry. You were not there and I’m sure he didn’t tell you those exact words. He was never asked to leave, NEVER. He chose to for reasons that seemed right at the time. I respected that choice, though it made me really sad that he felt he had to choose. Thankfully though, his love for Jehovah NEVER left and later in life he chose to again, attend services at the Kingdom Hall…even up to his passing he sometimes when he could, took his children to the meetings. His death left a lot of heartache because he was loved so much by so many in the faith…he was family and will FOREVER be that. <3

    I'm not attacking your right to voice your point of view, because you did actually spend a lot of time with him. I just couldn't rest until I voiced my side.

    Thank you Karen,
    ~SLR

  89. slyvetterob September 24, 2010

    (quote) When I was around him during Christmas, he would hide in his own closet to secretly wrap presents. He still held a tinge of guilt. I knew it was difficult for him, but I know he loved all the decorations that NEVER came down. He could freely give his children the birthdays that he never had. I knew deep down inside the Jehovah Witness teachings continued to hold a sacred place inside of him. That is why I was forever torn by not saying “Happy Birthday”. He never released me from my promise to not say it to him.

    **

    Karen, this paragraph touched me for some reason. It’s sweet, a little sad but still cute. Thanks for sharing.

  90. Karmen October 3, 2010

    Dear Karen,

    if I offended or upset you by any of my comments I apologize, I would never intend that. Im sorry they are a bit long so I guess it takes time to go through them and approve them or not.

    All the best an d much L.O.V.E.
    Karmen

  91. stana82 October 6, 2010

    I did´t know the reason why JW don´t celebrate birthdays or Christmas. Now I understand and it´s nice. We should celebrate everyday. But, anyway birthday is just one of those everyday celebrations :-)

    This helps me to understand how hard it had to be for Michael during his life here on Earth. It´s true that religion offers you a hinterland and can become your family, but it also separates people and judge them.

    But although Michael was bounded with the religious doctrine, he was somehow above all the religion. I think it was because he had access to the divine thanks to his sensitivity.

    What amazes me is that Michael was so kind to everybody. I mean that somebody can have so much love inside. He loved everyone just because they were, he believed in good in all creations. Or better, he knew that. He could find magic in everything and this is rare.

    As I thought that I was open and kind to everybody, I wasn´t really. I used to judge people. Now I try to not act like that. I try to really respect everybody. And love people just because they are. Just the way they are. Thank you Michael for living it and Karen for sharing it.

  92. slyvetterob October 25, 2010

    I agree 100% wit Pit04: He felt uncomfortable celebrating Holidays, because he knew they were pagan. It had to be hard for him to live in separate the enterainment world from, and our religion, when he was surrounded by people who didn’t believe what he knew. I love Michael Jackson and I know that Jehovah understood his battle.

    We know we’ll see our sweet guy again. :)
    SLR

  93. joanpoland January 31, 2011

    Hi Karen, I’ve read all the notes you post with a big pleasure. Are you going to post sth new here? Honestly, I’m still waiting new Regards

  94. ala01 May 17, 2011

    Karen, You’re a great woman. Michael needed a good and loyal friends who supported him. God bless. Kepp Michaeling. ♥ : )

  95. ala01 May 17, 2011

    Keep Michaeling. : )

  96. ala01 May 17, 2011

    Karen, are you planning in future to issue a book about Michael? Your stories and memories are beautiful. : )

  97. Monika Hans August 29, 2011

    Today is his B-day. We miss you all :-(

  98. sandrasweden December 31, 2011

    WOW…What beautiful things you are sharing here…Thank You so much from the bottom of my heart<3 I love you for it!!! It´s time the world saw Michael as he truly was…this sweet,sweeeet shy boy… I loved the story you shared about you unbuttoning your jeans to show that you had tiger underwear (me smiling) and he was so shy and screamed and covered his eyes…so sweet he was….which girl wouldn´t have wanted that? Now THAT was Michael… I´m so tired of the trashy stories of him and girls and stuff….I´ve had it, these lies since ´93…I saw the mans heart at the age of 10 so if a child could see it then the rest of the world should…God this was over 25 years ago…and in a couple of minutes it will be a new year…. Oboy did those 25 years go by fast…You know to me Michael would always stay 28 years old, ´cause in my heart he never aged…I´ll always see him as a boy eventhough he was older than me….God I would have loved to take care of him…he deserved to one day find his true love…so sad he didn´t…and he looked everywhere… He was so sweet, I just wanted to have shared anything with him,you know, the littlest things…he needed someone to always stand by his side and someone to have taken care of him…someone to tend to his every need…it would have been a delight to just have sit and talked with him…rubbed his feet, brushed his hair…whatever you know…to have showed him how truly loved he was…I love that during the trials you washed his hair everymorning…you know, those little things that mean so much…He never had that…he never had anyone to really take care of him…I know how much he would have appreciated those little things he never had…so sad…I just wanna cry…and why the h didn´t I meet him…I would have showed him how loved he really was….so so sad…(tears)….he would have loved having someone by his side every second…..Love you for being his friend..Love Sandra<3